Kartoffelchips – Mes Chips – Las Patatas Fritas or DKK’s-Funky-Chips

You love chips, don’t you? If you happen to be British, it’s crisps you love … Germans love Kartoffelchips and our French brethren are enamored with chips as well, just like my neighbors in Costa Rica, who adore papas in all its manifestations, including patatas fritas, chips – not to be confused with papas fritas, french fries. Everyone loves their chips – no matter how unhealthy deep fried foods may be, every supermarket, convenience store and bodega carries a myriad of chipper choices. 
photo by CMKL
Here in Texas, as proven by the content of my very own pantry, we also enjoy eating the corn alternative, the tortilla chip. Not necessarily healthier, but just as delicious. And let’s not forget pita chips and rice cakes. No, not rice cakes, as a matter of fact, let’s forget all about rice cakes. Instead, imagine a genuine Kartoffelchip or crisp that is actually good for you.

Let me introduce you to
DKK’sFunkyChips
A fun and healthy version of this universal crunchy delight.

… and in case you’re curious, ‘DKK’ is the artist skorpion aka Artemis Hamburgénsis aka my big sister. She created both the chips recipe and the photos thereof below.

Step One

Trim, clean and dry a nice potato, then cut it into uniform, thin slices by any preferred method or gaget of choice.
Steps Two & Three

Separate the potato slices on a paper towel, cover with same and pad dry.
Step Four

This is the arts-and-crafts segment, where you thread the potato slices on bamboo skewers like precious pearls on a silk ribbon. You mustn’t forget to oil the skewers first, though, otherwise you won’t be able to slip the finished chips back off again. You might want to work with a light touch – thin potato slices are delicate works of art! However, before you pierce and skewer, you have to apply the art of seasoning. Ground peppers and dried herbs can add a nice mediterranean accent, for example.
Let your imagination roam and your creativity soar …  


Fifth Step:
The actual cooking of these crispy treats happens not in oil, but in the microwave. DKK aka Artemis Hamburgénsis suspends the bamboo skewers across a plastic bowl, so that the entire contraption fits comfortably inside a microwave, with a double layer of paper towels lining the turntable. The paper towels absorb some of the moisture released during the cooking or rather ‘drying’ process. You can further promote the drying by opening the microwave every two minutes to release steam. And for how long should you microwave your chips? That depends. Really, it depends entirely on age of potatoes (moisture content), thickness of slices, wattage of microwave, degree of crunch desired, number of slices nuked, and so forth. Start with 2 minutes and work your way up in two minute increments.    

Sixth Step:

Crunch!

In no time, you can enjoy beautifully crisp crisps, or chips, or patatas fritas.

Alternate Steps:
Should you be too lazy or clumsy to skewer the potato slices, there’s another way to prepare DKK’s-Funky-Chips. Instead of skewering the sliced potatoes, dry the slices between paper towels, as before, then lay them out flat on parchment paper directly on the microwave turntable. Season and nuke as before.
In this method you’ll have to be extra vigilant, not to let steam accumulate inside the microwave or over-dry the chips. Oh, and another thing. Do NOT season with paprika prior to nuking. It’ll result in disastrous burn spots. It’s much better to correct seasoning once the chips are done. Enjoy!

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